Stand Together

  The International Day for Elimination of Violence Against Women  should be one of the most important days of the year for the whole world. Why is this so important? Isn’t the fact that nearly half of the world’s population is either female or born female, enough? This is more than enough, but it isn’t. Women and girls face violence every day in some form or the other. From physical and sexual abuse (which are pandemics on their own), to more invisible forms of violence such as emotional abuse, gaslighting and more, we experience these every day, across the year. There comes a point in each of our lives when we think and say - it is enough and take measures to put a stop to it. This happens when we are empowered to do so. What about those who don’t have the same empowerment or privilege? Can we just say ‘it is what it is’ and turn a blind eye to it – let the victims deal with it the way they have been, so far? No – we cannot and should not. I have experienced violence in ...

When I was 14-years old, Britney Spears sang “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” and parts of the lyrics rang true in my life. I was apparently a girl and a woman and this didn't sit well with me. Although it was drilled into my brain by family and society, I knew I was still just a child.  Have you noticed that in most cultures, girls “grow-up” or “mature” faster? How true is this? Do you think this actually happens? Or is this a way for patriarchy to groom girls to be compromising throughout their lives? I believe yes, there is no other reason why we place such a high-pressure expectation on the shoulders of children who just happen to be born female.  The below picture was shared by someone I know. The occasion was Children’s Day  at a school in India. Do you notice the big difference between the two genders represented here? Look closely, how are the boys (on the top) dressed and how are the girls dressed?    My struggle with this picture is that on...

  We are popularly known as Non-Resident Indians (NRIs). Immigrating sounds glamorous to most of us Indians and it mostly is. It is an opportunity to upgrade your own life and that of your family, which is why most of us are keen to reach greener pastures. Although the process is stressful, in the end, we do reap the rewards of a more convenient life and access to a higher income. Every immigrant will tell you how wonderful life is in a foreign land. If they don't tell you, you clearly see it in their social media activity. Here is what they don't tell you – life overseas is a big challenge. They don’t tell you the discomfort you feel when you cannot fit into your new social environment. They don't warn you about how much you may end up missing your family or your country. They don’t tell you how the small things that irritated you back home are the things you miss the most. You miss the marigold flowers in your mother’s temple in her kitchen, you miss adding ghee to ...

  It is true, we all live on nostalgia, and it has kept us going through this pandemic. From getting in touch with old school friends to listening to the music we grew up with, we have all taken advantage of our memories to deal with the difficulties of every day. There are two sides to every coin, and this one has a dark side. As much as I have enjoyed interacting and working with my former school mates during our Covid volunteering efforts, I have also been triggered by the many forwarded messages about going to school in India in the 1990s on WhatsApp. These have played on our nostalgia and have also made us rethink our experiences. Some of them made me go from “aww” to “eww, that’s not how it felt back then”. The common thread between them is that they have all retraumatised me. The below image (one of many such forwards) was sent to me by my mother who was a teacher in my school when I was a student. She even taught me Hindi for three continuous years! My response to her was t...

The theme for International Women’s Day 2021 is #ChooseToChallenge and I would like to challenge the concept of the multitasking woman, as the image below shows. No, the multitasking woman is not a myth, she is a reality that exists in all our lives. We are her. On Women’s Day we send each other encouraging messages of love and kindness. A dear friend, Tarannum Ara , posted a picture of a multitasking woman on one of her social media platforms and said: “Let’s stop glorifying the everyday struggle of women on Women’s Day. We do not have a choice to opt out of these responsibilities unlike men. It’s exhausting to be a woman in the artwork here”. This rings very true. As women we are proud of all that we can do and accomplish but we fail to acknowledge or do not want to accept the toll this takes on us – because we always put others before us (or the society demands and expects this from us). Women are forced to play too many roles at home, such as the housemaid, the mother, the...

After all, we are Indians, jis thali mein khate hai usme ched nahi karte , which can be translated to – we do not make holes in the plate we eat or, for a better understanding, we don’t bite the hand that feeds us . Indian farmers know what they are doing. They have a right to choose how to work and who to sell their produce to, just like the rest of us. Farmers in countries, such as USA, UK, Australia, South Africa and much of Europe are prosperous and wealthy, whereas most Indian farmers and farm workers live Below the Poverty Line . We all eat well because they work hard and take risks. They deserve to put themselves first and chose how they want to function. If nothing else, they deserve to be heard and treated with respect. What they do not deserve is being called Khalistani, just because they are asking some tough questions. Farmers fully understand the new farm laws that the Modi government wants to implement, which is why they are unhappy and are protesting. There is nothi...

 I am aware that there are many people like me who have read most of the Bridgerton Books and watched season 1 of Netflix’s current favorite series . Let me say this up front – the series is better than the books and here is why. Main characters and supporting characters have depth and a role to play. Impeccable casting choices by the producers. Use of characters who are not part of the first book The Duke and I , such as that of Marina (who appears in book five  To Sir Phillip With Love ). Changes to the main plot to make the stories interesting and to introduce conflict, for example, there is no prince in The Duke and I. The addition of royalty among the supporting characters and Eloise’s quest to finding Lady Whistledown. Lady Whistledown being a real character with depth and layers. She exists only until halfway through book four Romancing Mister Bridergton and only serves as an introduction to each chapter (yes, she is Penelope Featherington). In subsequent books, the...