Elimination of Violence Against Women Day – 25 November 2021

 

The International Day for Elimination of Violence Against Women should be one of the most important days of the year for the whole world. Why is this so important? Isn’t the fact that nearly half of the world’s population is either female or born female, enough? This is more than enough, but it isn’t.

Women and girls face violence every day in some form or the other. From physical and sexual abuse (which are pandemics on their own), to more invisible forms of violence such as emotional abuse, gaslighting and more, we experience these every day, across the year. There comes a point in each of our lives when we think and say - it is enough and take measures to put a stop to it. This happens when we are empowered to do so. What about those who don’t have the same empowerment or privilege? Can we just say ‘it is what it is’ and turn a blind eye to it – let the victims deal with it the way they have been, so far? No – we cannot and should not.

I have experienced violence in the form of abuse in nearly every form that it exists. I am honestly afraid to find out if it exists in more forms that the ones I have endured. I can affirm that violence exists not only at home or in public spaces but also in places of work/education, worship, health and childcare.

Most of us are aware of what violence at home looks like. Let me give you an insight into what it may look like at work, and these are a couple that I have experienced.

In the past, male colleagues have held on to my shoulders while looking at my computer screen from behind me, saying they were trying to “help me”. The weight of those arms is too heavy to bear physically and mentally, a shrug with a big effort is the only way I could communicate that this was crossing physical boundaries. Most times the hands would continue to rest on my shoulders. Another physically violent incident that shocked me at one organisation, is when a male colleague asserted that he didn’t want my help by aggressively taking hold of my hands and pushing them away from my keyboard (because I was making changes on his file). I had bruised wrists for days and even that was not evidence enough for the management of the company to act against this colleague. No one stood up for me. It was incredibly demoralising.   

Those are just a couple of examples of physical violence I endured in workplaces. Here are some for invisible violence.

Example 1: A boss of mine asked me to smile and get friendly with all his fellow managers to get a promotion I deserved. I count this as violence as it was manipulative.

Example 2: A bunch of male colleagues I worked with a few years ago hissed (made actual hissing sounds) at the sound my heels would make on the office floor.

Example 3: Male colleagues have stared at my chest, my bottom and various parts of my body, shamelessly and smirked at me when I caught them doing it (a very perverse smirk, that makes one shrink).

I could go on listing more such non-physical ways that violence is directed towards women very casually. Most of the world will tell you this is normal behaviour and something must be wrong with women to feel anything at all about such aggressive actions. Let me reassure you, this is not normal. It is violent, aggressive and unacceptable - and it needs to stop.

So, we now have a call to eliminate violence against women but how many of us are going to take this seriously?

Women bring empathy, ethics and care into any situation - be it work, family or activism. This is why, we see more women from any major professional field, whether it is journalism, entertainment or sports; speak up more, stand up more and take action. The reason we need the Elimination of Violence Against Women Day is that the world needs more people, of all genders, to join this movement.

When we stand-up for a woman and her humanity, we stand up for her family, a community, a country, and the whole world. We all need to be equal contributors to make this world a better and safe place. Making the world a fair and beautiful place for everyone is in your hands but are you brave enough to be a part of this change? What decision are you going to make today? Are you going to stand up for the women around you, and how are you going to do this? Tell me so I can learn.