Incredible India!

Incredible India!

Yes India is an incredibly beautiful country with diversity that can be seen nowhere else in the world. It is also incredible to note that my country is full of incredibly unbelievable hypocrites where a powerfully rich politician (read Kanimozhi) is given bail for squandering money of a huge figure that my mind can’t fathom exists in India and where a stupid sarpanch of some backward village is not even arrested for assualting a woman in public.

What is wrong with this country? Everything!

Once debating with a friend on Indian values v/s western values I realised we are so proud of our Indian culture and so called ‘Sanskriti’. So that means we should be proud of the following as well –

  1. A minor is raped and is forced to marry her tormentor. We should be congratulating her for her newly found wedded bliss.
  2. Online content will now be censored, the Minister’s excuse being religious sentiments of certain communities being hurt through online posts and content. Poor Minister, he is not aware how social networking sites work and that they themseleves have policies in place to curb such hurtful content. Dear Minister, I can teach you how to use these sites correctly if you pay me Rs. 1,00,000 a day. Trust me, this is the cheapest offer you’re going to get.
  3. It is not OK for Veena Malik to pose nude for a magazine but it is OK for the men and women in this country to not only lust after her body shamelessly but also call her names and hate her. They hate her only because they can never be like her. So since I am not supposed to appreciate the beauty and boldness of one woman, I will visit all the ancient temples in India and appreciate the nude statues of gods and goddesses, an art for art’s sake.
  4. People above the age of 80 want to be Prime Minister so if I want to be Prime Minister someday I better keep me healthy enough to live for a century.
  5. Being young and happy and dressing for the occasion is a crime. The moral police hates the way young India dresses especially at a party or a night club. They believe we’re always “inappropriately dressed”. If I’m not dressed in my best western wear at a night club (which has a dress code) will I be dressed in conventional Indian clothes? If I am, then I am “inapporpriately dressed” (read not dressed for the occasion).
  6. Talking about conventional clothing, I think sari should be banned as it does not cover the female body adequately and is too revealing. How can anything revealing be conventional in India? I’m better off in my pair of jeans, skirts and tees.
  7. According to a certain female police officer in Delhi, couples cuddling in the park are the reason for the high rate of rape and assault on women in the Capital. Incredible isn’t it? First it is my clothes that invite monsters to rape me and next it is my partner.
  8. Lalu, we all know him. He’s been blaming the Internet and facebook primarily for introducing vulgarity of western culture in India. Arre Lallu, India is booming technologically and economically because of this Internet. I don’t think you’re interested in seeing 100% employment in your state. You can join the Minister’s class, you need a lesson or two about Internet. You’ll have to pay me extra for teaching you values.
  9. Anna! Praise be to him! He awoke the entire middle class to the truth of corruption in the country. Thank you sir! Until you came by I had never heard of the word ‘corruption’. How gracious of you to be enlightening us about it time and again. Some Gandhian you are, you believe in beating up drunkards and politicians. You need to relearn the definition of non violence. But yes, Anna does have some valid points that need to be respected.
  10. There is a lot more to complain about but I will stop here for now.

Inspite of all this I still love India. I guess there is some magic in the motherland. I hate it for the people it has produced but I love it for just being only one India in the whole world. By the way I am also an integral part of the ugly crowd I have written about here. Sorry people, no offence meant.

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