Story 1 - The Waiting

It was just one of those unreasonable days that no matter how rigid my plan nothing fell in place. It was a day that was making me sick with worry about a presentation I was not prepared to give. It reminded me of my mathematics exam 14 years ago where just the idea of the question paper being distributed lead me to the school toilet. 

“Anika”, he said as soon as he walked in. I was expecting my name to be called having become an expert in reading into the footsteps in the office. “I need you to put everything aside and pull up a presentation for Jazz. I need to present at the client’s site tomorrow. Please make it quick as I also need to practice it.” 

“Of course, Udi” is all I could say. I could see the colour drain from my palms and feel a strange weakness coming on. I wished I could have stepped out for just a second to clear my mind and breathe in some comforting air but doing that would make the fierce environment around me question my professionalism and my professional ethics were not up for debate. 

So the day went on, the presentation was ready in time and now it was time to concentrate on the regular projects. Several times during the day I felt the need to smoke though I have never smoked before but just the idea of being able to let off some steam literally, helped me go through another long day. 

I still had an hour’s worth of work left and I had already overstayed my nine hours. Lalit was waiting outside in his car for 40 minutes now. As if reading my mind he calls on the phone. “It is 8:00PM already; do you not want to go home?” I reply by saying, “I need an hour more, I just do not want to take work home tonight. It has been a long tiring day.” I could already feel the uncomfortable silence that followed his long heavy breath. Oh, I was wrong; he said I must complete my work as soon as I can. I got no calls after this that evening.

An hour and a half later I got into the car beside him and I could feel the stony silence. I received neither a single syllable nor acknowledgement that I was by his side. I could not take the stony silence after a good 10 minutes. I started by apologizing. Not a word yet. A couple of minutes later the cold tone of someone hateful shown in his voice. I shuddered at the tone that I barely heard his words. In the distance I could hear the beloved voice chastising me for ‘being late, for making him wait, did he ever make me wait this way, did he ever not put me before his work, I am taking my independence too far, I do not even need to work’. 

I was too tired to argue back. I was too tired to think. I was too tired to be sitting next to him. In my defense, all I managed to say was it won’t happen again. My heart was too sore even to think how I will get home if I need to work late again. 

The unreasonable day continued to be an unreasonable night when Lalit refused to eat take away food half way through the drive home. “You need to cook today Anika. You need to know where your priorities lie. You cannot expect me to wait for you outside your office for two hours and not make me a nice meal.” My tired mind spoke without thinking. I said “why didn’t you eat at Levos? Isn’t it right next to my office? I wish you had eaten, your wait would not have been such a tiresome one.” He failed to see this as a polite suggestion but saw it was a challenge and as a threat to his intelligence, something on the lines of ‘why didn’t he think of this himself’. That realization was the worst thing that could have happened on such an unreasonable day, of which I had no inkling.

My heart wanted to repay him generously for waiting for me as I knew how it felt. I was in his place numerous times before, not eating, not sleeping but just waiting for him to be back home after his long meetings. We both knew this was the first time I had kept him waiting but I had somehow gone too far. Even though every bone in my body screamed for rest I forced my mind to measure the right amount of spices that go into make rajma. Rajma chawal has always been his favorite thing to eat. 

The food went uneaten not because he was asleep but because his pride did not let him eat and we ended up spending the night in different rooms. I slept only as well as my tired over worked mind allowed me to. The question, my mistake of working late, gnawed me in my sleep and I woke up in a dazed confused state, not ready for another tiresome day. I was definitely not prepared for what came next.

The silent stony drive to work began again but the cheerfulness of the day just made it worse. I was waiting for the one sided dialogue to begin. I thought I was prepared for it but surprisingly I wasn’t. He took my breath away when he started to speak, not the way he when I first met him. This was a suffocating unbreathable situation. The antennas of my defense systems were up and I argued back every accusation he made. I even thought to myself I should have been a lawyer. We argued for quite some time before he stopped the car suddenly in the middle of heavy traffic. He ordered me to get off his car. I stared at him in utter shock and disbelief, ‘this can’t be happening’ sort of shock. The hooting of the other vehicles on the road woke me up. 

I did as I was asked and I thought to myself that at least the stony silence will be gone. To my luck, I got into a bus, which ran beside his car. I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him in his car from the bus. I knew he could see me too. I waved to get his attention. He finally looked at me only to look away, wear his black shades on and to roll up his window glass. I turned away from the window wiping away the tears of powerlessness, desperation and humiliation.

Short story by Smriti Edith Paul