Stand Together

There are two types of people in the world. The one type knows that questions help us understand the aspects of our life better. The second type takes offence when a question is asked. They see a question as a challenge and their egotistical nature does not allow them to see the real purpose of the question. These second type of people, my friends, are those who will brand you as a ‘trouble-maker’, ‘mischief-maker’, ‘problem-person’, ‘insubordinate’ and more as soon as you ask a question. They will call you all the ugly things you’re not and make sure this is exactly what others think of you too. So basically, these people will assassinate your character to the best of their abilities to be proven right and to experience that elusive ‘aha’ moment. I have had the misfortune to have been branded a ‘trouble-maker’ by such people. I suffered with that stereotype for several months but it hasn’t stopped me from asking questions. I wholeheartedly encourage you to ask questions because ...

I just want to clarify that when a man looks at you the first time, it may be out of curiosity, but when he turns his head around to look at you fully again, a fraction of a second later, he is checking you out. Staring, especially constant staring at work, while travelling or while just minding your own business can be annoying to those women who are not looking for any unwelcome attention. Let us grow up ladies and realise what kind of attention is good and which is bad. After being made aware of the rules of engagement again and again, when men gawk at you, it isn’t a compliment. It is a behaviour that needs to be discouraged. When your sister, friend or collogue talks to you about unwelcome staring, you need to take it seriously instead of justifying it. Always remember, a curious look is different from a perverse look and as women, we instinctively know the difference. I encourage women to know and understand that when a man turns his head around to look at you twice, ...

Why is it important to assert my rights? The answer is simple - because I exist! The biggest desire of my heart is to be treated equally and when that does not happen, to be able to assert my rights. I’m not speaking of when and if faced with a civil rights situation. I am talking about everyday life. From being wanted to be heard to having my problems resolved, everything is related to me being a human being with a singular personality. As I grow older, I realise that proclaiming my rights or asking people to treat me as an individual with strong opinions gets harder day by day. The harder it gets, the louder my voice will become. I find that I cannot sit by and let things go; which is why I feel the need to assert my rights every time I breathe. That is how important my freedom and the ideal of being treated equally are to me. A lot of people do not understand this and so they call me a mischief maker to discredit me. We live in a world where even treating others equall...

One of the most famous quotes on the Internet today is that if someone does not treat you right, it is a reflection of who they are and not what you are. I used to believe that respect is something one earns but over the years I have realised that respect is a given and it is trust, which is earned. Giving respect to life, whether human or animal is my duty. It does not matter how hard I try. I still fail at it every day. Each one of us has the fate of human dignity in our hands and most of us fail to uplift it every time we breathe. From women being subjected to gross atrocities, children ravaging bins to survive, people fleeing their destroyed worlds and countless dying of hunger each day, there is so much hanging in the balance. I don’t wish to get preachy but how can we not act right when we know a person’s dignity is our hands? Why do we grow up believing that people who don’t have all that we have are inferior to us? How do I, an employee of an IT company, become more s...

I am a frequent user of Meru cabs in Hyderabad. At times I choose them over the more economical Uber and Ola services. Due to the non-stop rains in Hyderabad, I choose to book a Meru to go from Nagaram to Hitec city at 6:10 AM, which is a 34 kms route. Firstly the driver came 5 minutes late and I didn’t complain, like I usually don’t. On the route, he wasn’t just driving fast, he was also arguing with other vehicle drivers who were driving slowly on potholes filled roads. At Trimulgherry junction I asked the driver to take the left towards Paradise but he insisted that the Kukatpally route was faster. I begged him to go on the route I was asking him to take because I was getting late for work. He wasn’t listening so I let it go. At Trimulgherry junction, we waited for the traffic lights to go green for three minutes and I asked the driver once again to go my way. At this point he started shouting at me. If anyone knows me, they know I have very low tolerance for misbehavior, in...

Yes, we women have very alert antennas that keep throwing red flags all day long. There is no escape from this because that is what the world has trained us to do. I remember when I was a child my smile was just a smile, my hello was just a hello and when someone smiled at me I took it as just a smile and when they said hello it was just a hello. Today’s brutal world forces me to overthink. I am well aware that when I smile at a man today it may be interpreted as an invitation to something I don’t want to experience. But I know this does not apply to all men, just those who are guilty of believing that women are not their equals. As an adult I am guilty of questioning the ulterior motive behind the smile of a man, more so when my instinct tells me what kind of smile it is. Women trust their instincts; sometimes our instincts can be wrong. The world has conditioned the minds of women to be alert all the time, even in our sleep. We end up becoming uncomfortable and start overth...

I’m not a movie critic but watching the 60s Bollywood blockbuster Jab Jab Phool Khile (1965) (When Flowers Bloom), has turned me into one temporarily. I used to always think that the period of 1960s-70s was really cool in Indian cinema and the long musical movies always kept me engaged. Jab Phool Khile was successful in thwarting my notions that India was progressive back then. This movie was so successful that the makers of Raja Hindustani (1996) didn’t change the core of the plot while remaking it. Like all the stories back then, the oarsman, who owns a boathouse in Kashmir, falls in love with a rich, America returned educated girl. The girl, played by Nanda comes to Kashmir on a holiday and does everything that an individual on a holiday does. She even chides the oarsman on multiple occasions for not knowing how to behave around women. As suddenly as she arrives, she departs too. The oarsman (the charming Shashi Kapoor) is so smitten by her and wants her to fall in love with...

Under the sky, the bright blue sky, Through the binoculars I strained to see, Which brother stood across the enemy lines?  It is war they said and I asked why, Was it a cause or was it greed? Under the sky, the dark grey sky, I find myself in the trenches, Craving for home, for a bed and for coffee; Who is this standing next to me, With a rifle poised at no man’s land? Is it you my brother? Under the sky, the thundering sky, yes, is the reply; Bang, bang and boom, boom, No more can I hear, no more can I see; And I begin to question the cause, As soon as my senses clear. Under the sky, the unclear vague sky, this is war they said, But it looks more like vengeance. We are here to defend our people I thought, But I see my people fall every other day. And every day I survive. Under the sky, the cold clear sky, I tremble as I crawl, With a parched throat I crawl. The fighting has stopped for the day, And to the cold bunks we return. ...

Yes this is another feminist article from a woman who feels the world is an unfair place and women have to survive through a great many hardships. From the colour of our lipstick to our menstrual cycles, women have to face unfair questions so many times a day that it has become cumbersome to count.  At this juncture, after so many millions of years, you must think we are used to it. I have to tell you world that we are not and I don’t believe we are ever going to get used to it. Each day brings with it several revelations on how this world has treated us and continues to treat us unkindly. While there is this gut and heart wrenching story of a child being whipped by a village after being raped by her father there is also this inspiring story of Shreya Ukil, who won a sex discrimination case against Wipro . We have gone to the Moon and back and yet when a used condom is found in a residential building in Hyderabad, a group of women renting an apartment is blamed and n...

One of the Telugu movies currently showing in Hyderabad has some pretty obscene imagery. I wonder where are those nationalist fanatics who say Sunny Leone’s two piece bikini is ‘against Indian culture’. I want to know how they would defend the placing of ‘R’ rated posters on billboards, bus stops and buses, which everyone, including children can see. I wonder how that affects the lives of the 4 million people who reside in this city. It surely affects me. As if the heat of the summer sun is not enough to put up with, I am forced to look at steamy images of men and women making out while travelling to work and back home. How did the posters of this movie get on to the billboards? Who gave them permission and what are they spending on this intense marketing campaign. It is obvious that Hyderabadi people have an appetite for ‘R’ rated movies but I have never seen such a wide marketing campaign. Why are people not up in arms about these posters? When we believe that the clothes women wea...

Kenya Airways – The Pride of Africa is in fact the shame of Africa. Anybody who has traveled to Africa knows that Kenya is an important connecting port and Kenya Airways knows how to make you miss your flight even if you have reached the boarding gate 10 minutes before takeoff. So here is the story and it’s a rather long one. I was returning to Johannesburg for the Easter weekend and the shortest flights I found were of Kenya Airways and not knowing any better I went ahead and booked them. The nightmare started at Mumbai airport when the flight took off 45 minutes behind schedule and knowing that I have a layover of just one hour I was tense throughout the journey. The flight attendants onboard KQ211 kept reassuring me that I will not miss my connecting flight to Johannesburg as there are around 20 people on the flight travelling to my destination. But, there always has to be a but in the story, so, but, we when we reached, the plane needed repairs and when the doors opened those...

I’m currently hunting for an apartment in Hyderabad. Obviously I want a place that is safe, has no water shortage and is close to work. Hence, I decided to look at apartments in the posh and plush gated communities of Hyderabad. So far my visits to these popular, in demand locations have been thoroughly depressing. Among the popular gated communities I visited were SMR Vinay City, Rainbow Vistas and Reliance Paradise.  I have many friends who live the high life in these towering buildings but a visit was enough to convince me that this is not how I would like to spend my days. Although the high rises look inviting and statuesque from the outside, there were no better than posh ghettos. There was concrete dust all around, in the basement, in the elevators, in the corridors and inside the apartments. Most apartments ended as soon as you entered, leaving nothing to your imagination. Gated communities in Hyderabad made me claustrophobic and I could just not see myself living...

After reading and hearing a lot about Bollywood actress Sunny Leone’s recent interview I decided to watch it. To be honest my exposure to Bollywood movies in the last three years has been very limited and I have not seen much of Sunny Leone. Now that I am temporarily back in India I see a lot of her on TV but it has not been enough for me to form an opinion about the actress. Her interview with Bhupender Chaube gave me an insight into the brave and fearless woman she is. I feel inspired again, inspired enough to write after several months. While on one side we want a lot for women in India such as safety, education and equality, on the other side knowingly and unknowingly we say things that may condemn a person for his/her past, at least that is what the interview demonstrated. Not only the questions asked were unfair but were set up to diminish the dignity of the actress. What the interviewer did not realise is that he was questioning the dignity, the past, present and futu...