Alert All The Time

Yes, we women have very alert antennas that keep throwing red flags all day long. There is no escape from this because that is what the world has trained us to do. I remember when I was a child my smile was just a smile, my hello was just a hello and when someone smiled at me I took it as just a smile and when they said hello it was just a hello.

Today’s brutal world forces me to overthink. I am well aware that when I smile at a man today it may be interpreted as an invitation to something I don’t want to experience. But I know this does not apply to all men, just those who are guilty of believing that women are not their equals. As an adult I am guilty of questioning the ulterior motive behind the smile of a man, more so when my instinct tells me what kind of smile it is. Women trust their instincts; sometimes our instincts can be wrong.

The world has conditioned the minds of women to be alert all the time, even in our sleep. We end up becoming uncomfortable and start overthinking about the possibilities that may not exist. Who is to blame for this - our bodies, our clothes, our femininity, our behavior or our personality? Or do we blame the men for intensely treating us this way that we know nothing else.

From autorickshaw drivers to men in business parks, we are slut-shammed for our clothes, boldness and for being ourselves. What else can our instinctive antennas do when a man looks at our chest instead into our eyes when speaking to us, except throw up red flags? In a world where we all want gender equality, much work needs to be done to help women not judge every man’s intention. This can only be achieved when men can prove they have no ulterior motives when they interact with us.

I’ve written quite a bit, I’m not sure what I am trying to say. I want women to not judge every man as a creep and I want men to stop being obviously creepy. Is it too much to ask for? I guess yes, because equality is a war that no one has managed to win from the beginning of time.